married with friends.

friends. they're tricky in junior high, and they're tricky after you graduate from college. And, from what i hear from "older" women (aka, my mother), they're tricky for pretty much the rest of your life.

I guess i always knew that my friendships would change throughout life, but i never thought it would be such an emotionally taxing experience. By far, the hardest change in friendships have been since Evan and I became engaged and married. During the time when most people would receive joy and congratulations, i received three of my closest friends confronting me for how hurt they were that i "deserted" them. Slowly, for reasons unknown to me, my list of close single friends grew shorter and shorter. Now, i wouldnt trade anything for my husband, and i LOVE being married. But, when at 23 you're the first of your friends to get married, you're the first to experience the pain of friendships taking a drastic turn. I wish i knew why this was. Is it because our life stages and experiences are so different now? But are they really that different? Do we have nothing to talk about anymore because I'm married?

Another struggle comes in the area of initiation. I dont know if everyone feels this way at one point or another, but i feel as though i am the one who has to initiate a get together, or coffee date, or phone call. And if i dont? Well, its because im married. Clearly i have no need for friends anymore.

I need friends. Thankfully, God has provided for me some really wonderful, also newlywed friends this year. Not only can we relate to the ups and downs of figuring out this whole marriage thing, we can relate to the pain of losing the rest of our friends. Who, by the way, we still need and love and arent too busy for just because we're married.

Also, im way beyond grateful for my best friend Naomi. We have known each other since we were babies, and have gone through some similar stages together, and some very different ones. Right now, we are in very different stages. But our friendship hasnt changed at all. She's excited to hear about mine and Evans life, and knows that just because im married, doesnt mean im magically too busy for her. Love you, girl :)

This is definitely an area where God is teaching me and stretching me this year. And, forcing me to trust, as i worry who our friends will be once we move to Colorado. Lord, grant me patience and wisdom with my current friends, and peace about the ones you will bring me in the future :)